Be Thankful & Let The Rest Go

Hello, my name is Karen and I am a control freak. The first step is admitting you have a problem right? I have a huge problem relinquishing control and am learning to be thankful for help even if it isn’t done the way I would do it.

I struggle with being thankful when things are done differently often. A perfect example is my husband doing laundry and myself sitting wondering if he is “doing it right”. In reality, I should be thankful it is one less thing for me to do.

I know I am not the only one who has this issue, a couple of months ago a girlfriend of mine called me asking me, “Why can’t I just say thank you?” My answer was, “Because we are control freaks”.

Where does my control stem from?

I think I am molded this way because I was a single mom for a long time. Although I did have the help of my family, I still was the one who was in charge of Zoey all on my own.

After Lia was born I began to let go of some of the control. I began to feel overwhelmed and stressed. I felt I had to do so much on my own.

It wasn’t that my husband didn’t want to help, it was that I didn’t accept the help because I was so stuck in doing it my own way. It took me 8 short months to learn that I had to just be thankful.

I am a busy body, so the busier I was the happier I thought I would be. That is until I found myself crying because my to-do list was too great to complete.

How Do You Learn to Be Thankful?

So what is there to do? Well for starters I began waking up each morning and writing down 3 things I am thankful for. They can be small things like warm coffee and more in-depth on other days.

The second thing was deciding to accept the help given. I learned to be thankful for simply having the help and stopped worrying about it being done “my way”.

A key change was learning to ask for help! I have always been Ms. Do It All, literally! A self-sufficient person since I was probably 4-5 years old.

I was always volunteering for things and being the person to help others but never asking for help for myself. I was under this false idea that I had to be Super Mom.

The pressure of this societal standard can break a person. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. My husband made me see that it was okay to ask for help.

It’s a slow learning process, but bow have I made progress. There are days I cook dinner and days where my husband does. We split as much of the responsibilities of our home and kids to help each other out.

Learn To Say Thank You

Alongside asking for help I have learned to say “Thank you”. Even if things are not done my way, or my vision is slightly different I have learned to be appreciative.

We each have our way of doing things and I am very fortunate to have the help that I do. I think this is all a part of growing as a person and in a partnership.

The ability to let go and trust in others is not something that is given it is earned. I hope that all you control freaks out there learn a little something from this stubborn Mamma Bear!

I challenge you to each day say thank you at least once a day. They say if you do it 28 days it becomes a habit so let’s get in the habit of saying “Thank You”.